I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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