so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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