Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I believe in your delicious
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
