i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
