My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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