i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
