You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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