Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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