Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
