2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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