i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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