Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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