Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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