that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
