I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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