I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
