and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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