Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
