Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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