You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
