Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
