She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
