Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
