If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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