i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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