i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
