i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
