woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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