Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
