Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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