does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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