All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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