can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
