I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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