Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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