his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
