Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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