question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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