I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
