the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
