Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She even gives head with a lisp.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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