I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize