Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
