just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize