Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
