you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize