How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
