the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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