never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
