well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
