her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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