You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
