you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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