let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
