how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im holly from the hills drunk
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
