Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
