The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
organizing the empties. That sober.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
