It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
