Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
