This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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