Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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