i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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