naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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