oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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