u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
