If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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