Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
