I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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