Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
