i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
