How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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