he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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