honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
