His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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