just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
