Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
