just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
